Two pees in a pot: students’ misused pears

homonyms

Mismatched pear of shoes?

The Internet is full of bad writing by people who ought to take more pride in their work. In this series of posts, I have enjoyed publishing the results of careless writers who choose the wrong word from a set of homonyms.

Now I find that teachers also enjoy posting excerpts from their students’ tests and papers. Some of those kids have a lot more serious problems than simply choosing the right word! Here are a few beauties:

  • We were as close as two pees in a pot.
  • He urines to be accepted.
  • Steinbeck always wrote with a porpoise.
  • Sex is contact between male and female gentiles.
  • Non governmental organizations are not for prophet.
  • The main problem with global warming is, that many orgasms will go extinct.
  • Society is a living orgasm.
  • Before Europeans even entered the Americas, Native Americans had established a way to life shadowing those of pheasants in Europe.
  • Miss Minnie Cooper used to be an attractive old woman but she has become an old sphincter.
  • This source was actually used by someone doing their doctoral destitution.
  • I would also like to add that the term illiterate is mean and hateful. People cannot help that they don’t have a father!
  • [And I would like to add that the student teacher in my 9th-grade health told us about an article he had read in the previous day’s paper about sterilizing the parents of illiterate children so they wouldn’t have any more! It’s sad to think that barely literate people can get teaching jobs, but alas he was not much worse than my English(!) teacher that same year.]
  • Gynecologists treat conditions of the cul de sac.
  • I’m quoting from the ancient Greek philosopher Aeropostale.
  • I am not going to be in class today I have slipped a dick in my back and it is very painful. I can hardly get out of bed.
  • The booty of Helen of Troy was legendary.
  • Norman is an island. That is so true. That is what the bells told.

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