Brother, can you spare a digm?

Spelling is hardOh come on. You know what a digm is. You probably have at least one in your pocket. It’s worth ten cents. It’s time for a paradime shift!

Here are some sentences full of rhyming words that decided to trade endings. How quickly can you read them?

  • Did Herman really bict his neighbor’s ear? A jury mite indight him.
  • She was aglough that her boe had lots of deau, but full of wow when she saw he was sough shalloe.
  • In Eurup, they use catsop for syrip when they drink a julope. Did the bishough hiccip when he smelled the tulep?
  • We’re hier to pear at our dere on the beer.
  • Her caf was such a rip-aff I had to coif. O well, let’s quough caffee and eat piloff.
  • The millionayer and his hare are in dispear because of a nightmeir about thair nightware. I declaire: they should try prier.
  • I confurd with the nerred about a birred I hurred. He besterd himself and concird it was abserd
  • A webt bruneat with a deat is a thrette.
  • With nooze of the couses, they had their rendezvews in the bayoups. They took bwos.
  • Apropoa of the tyrough in the depeaux, he drinks cocot as thos it were Bordo.

Richard Lederer, an expert on the English language, notes that the Roman alphabet can’t quite handle all the different sounds of English. And that’s quite apart from the language’s habit of borrowing words from all over the world.

He writes, “The result is that about eighty percent of our words are not spelled phonetically. In effect, we have two languages, one spoken and one written.”

Or as President Andrew Jackson, who was not an expert in the English language put it, “It’s a damn poor mind that can think of only one way to spell a word.”

With thanks to Crazy English / Richard Lederer (Pocket Books, 1989)

Image credit: source unknown


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